You Know The Relationship Should End When These 10 Things Happen

Sometimes you just get a feeling that your relationship isn’t working out.  You may still care a lot about your significant other, so this can be a tough decision.  If most of these things apply to your relationship, you should probably consider whether it’s time to end it.

1. You don’t look forward to telling your partner funny stories about your day.

It’s one thing to avoid talking your partner’s ear off about every little thing that happened to you at work or school, but it’s another thing when you feel no compulsion to share anything funny, interesting, or exciting with them at all. Even worse if you find yourself sharing these things with someone else instead, like that funny new coworker.

2. You have different values about important things, like money, education, marriage, or religion.

This stuff doesn’t get better over time, it gets worse. Do you want to find yourself unhappy years from now, wishing that you had just listened when your partner said he never wanted kids or would never want to get married?  Incompatibility about issues of deep importance is a  major red flag.

3. You would rather spend time with your friends than your partner.

It’s great to have a solid network of friends to rely on and hang out with. But it’s not great when the time you spend with your partner pales in comparison to the fun that you have with your friends. When hanging out with your friends strikes you as that a lot more fun than spending time with your partner, you have to ask yourself why.

4. You don’t hug or kiss much. And to be honest, sex has gotten a lot less fun.

Physical affection isn’t everything, but it is one important aspect of a relationship.  It often acts as a barometer of how the relationship is going.  And if you’re feeling physically and sexually distant, it’s likely you feel distant in other areas of the relationship as well.

5. Your family never really liked your partner, and still doesn’t.

If you have a close and respectful relationship with your family, you have to wonder why they persist in thinking that your partner isn’t worthy of you. It might just be that they see something that you don’t have the distance and objectivity to see on your own.

6. You never grew to like their friends, and vice versa.

If after all these months or years you still can’t find any kindred spirits in your partner’s friend group, it is a pretty bad sign. After all, your partner likes these people and must be similar to them in some ways, so if you can’t stand any of them, what does it mean about how you feel about your partner?  Also, what does it mean that he doesn’t like your friends?  You know they are awesome and they’re a lot like you. Maybe it means he’s just not that compatible with or into you either.

7. You are bored when your partner talks.

We’re not talking about one topic, like his job in finance or her scrapbook hobby. The great majority of the time you feel your eyes glaze over, because you honestly aren’t that interested in the conversation.  Ever.

8. You don’t really care how you look anymore.

Again, the physical aspect of the relationship isn’t everything, but if you no longer care at all about your partner thinking you look attractive, this isn’t the best sign that you’re still invested in the relationship.

9. You fantasize about dating other people. A lot.

Thinking other people are cute is natural.  Having extensive thoughts about what it would be like to date other specific people is not.  In fact, it’s a sign that maybe you ought to be dating some of those people instead.

10. You can’t picture being with them this time next year, or you can and it makes you feel stuck and unhappy.

If you’re not happily looking forward to the future with your significant other, there is not much point in remaining in the present with them.  Things won’t magically improve with time.

If many of these ten things resonate with you, it may be time to throw in the towel.  Good luck, and be true to yourself.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015