Multiple Methods For Multiple Orgasms

You're Going To Have A Climax-Filled Night Tonight - If You Read This

An incredible climax is everyone’s goal, but for some couples, multiples sound like the stuff of fantasy.

But how obtainable are those elusive multiple orgasms? Can you learn to give them to your partner, and also achieve them yourself? “Not to be the bearer of bad news but there are no special tricks or secret buttons to encourage a multiple orgasmic experience that remains consistent from person to person. Ideally we would like a manual or a book of instructions but you are most likely to find yourself disappointed when trying to use them from one person to another as everyone’s physical, emotional, and mental bodies are different. Unfortunately, you can’t have one without the other,” says Dr. Yvonka, a clinical sexologist with Jasmine.com.

It takes attention to detail, vulnerability, open mindedness, willingness to experiment, knowing your own body, and passion to elicit those responses. “The experiences of multiple orgasms are different for men and women on a biological standpoint in that for men it is uncommon. Not impossible, but uncommon. Men need the refractory period wherein after their bodies need to recoup prior to being able to climax again. Women however, well we just simply get to have all the fun!” Dr. Yvonka.

But even though it’s easier for a woman to have a multiple orgasm than for a man, it requires some practice and forethought to get there, giving or getting, for all of us!

Practice

For men to achieve multiple orgasms themselves takes practice, says Stephen Silver, co-founder and CEO of Honest Pick-Up. “You can practice when you're masturbating to keep going after you bust, or to try to have a quick turnaround in between. You can stay hard yourself with practice, or if you're comfortable enough with your partner....just ask them to help keep you hard after your first orgasm,” says Silver. This will get easier each and every time, says Silver, and will build rapport between you and your partner.c

Build Up the Sexual Tension

For women, orgasm builds from arousal (not the other way around) so if you really want to prime her for immense sexual pleasure, you need to start early. “I always say that foreplay begins after the last O, which means you should be laying the groundwork long before you reach the bedroom. And the best place to start is with her largest sex organ: her mind!” says Dr. Emily Morse, a sexologist, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight.

If you know that multiple Os are on the menu for the evening, start things up early with a teasing text or two. “Let your partner know how badly you want her and text her exactly what’s on your mind. When you both get home, turn up the PDA and shower her with touches and affection. By the time you get to the bedroom, she is already reared up and ready for pleasure,” says Dr. Morse.

Know Your Body

The most important first step of getting to a multiple-orgasm experience is to know your own body, says Dr. Yvonka. “You have to know your limits, your likes, and your dislikes and this can only be done one true way -- lots and lots of masturbation. The second step is being able to communicate them. If you allow yourself to have a bad experience during sex, it could put you off entirely for the whole experience, which at that point you can almost forget about it,” says Dr. Yvonka.

“Something to keep in mind is that because men have the biological aspect working against them when it comes to multiple orgasms, the components above are more very important. Because women are driven by emotional and mental connection, the above aspects are very important as well. However, for women, their bodies can achieve multiple orgasms even when they may not be searching for it or ready for it. I can guarantee though that without some of the components above that it will be next to impossible with those mythical creatures,” says Dr. Yvonka.

Experiment

Part of learning our limits and likes is being experimental and open, says Dr. Yvonka. “If the other person communicates what they like, don’t criticize, or judge or assume they are weird just because you haven’t experienced it before. Be willing to try something at least once, if it doesn’t work then OK... But you may be pleasantly surprised. If you know it’s a hard limit for you then don’t try it for sure because the experience will most certainly backfire,” Dr. Yvonka says. This means remaining present and pay attention to detail. “Focus on your senses, the touch, the smell, the feeling, anything that keeps you in the moment. That will elicit passionand chemistry, which is almost guaranteed to give you an all night tryst leading to a variety of experiences,” says Dr. Yvonka.

Stay Present

Since the brain is the biggest sex organ, it makes sense that a lot of the work behind multiple Os should take place above the belt. “It’s common for women to get trapped in their heads when trying something new, which seriously hinders the pleasure process. The trick is to help your partner stay connected to her body both mentally and physically, even after the first orgasm. If she becomes overwhelmed or frustrated during the process, her body is likely to shut down for more business, but you can help her break through,” says Morse.

Help her remain present by keeping her focused on the sensations she's feeling. “If you notice that she seems distracted, give her a deep, sensual kiss to bring her back or ask her a question related to what you are doing in the moment. Remind her that you’re both here together and don’t allow those pesky thoughts to interrupt her experience,” says Morse.

Breathe

One of the most important things she can do to stay present is to pay attention to her breath, in and out. Repeat. “Breathing is a great tool for you, too -- it helps to relax the body and expand both of your pleasure potential. Deep breaths also flood your body with oxygen so your nervous system can do its job, increasing the amount of pleasure your brain can process,” says Morse. “Practice taking some deep synchronized breaths together during foreplay or during sex itself, keeping in rhythm with your movements. It may seem a little new-agey, but trust me. Nothing helps you slow down and get on the same page like some meditative breaths!” says Morse.

Become Cliterate

The clitoris is the focal point of female arousal and the more you learn your way around her key pleasure point, the more likely you are to bring her multiple orgasms. “Take some time to explore the area for yourself before you dive in, and remember to always go five times slower than you think you should -- it may look like a button just waiting to be pushed, but the clitoris is actually very sensitive, and the more aroused your partner gets, the more sensitive she will become,” says Morse. 

The best way to start pleasuring the clitoris is to massage the area around it, says Morse. Using your index and middle finger, massage slow circles around her clitoris, gradually making the circles tighter and tighter until you’re slow sexy circles are focused on it. To mix things up, you can also try using diagonal or side-to-side strokes. Just remember that the key to climax is steady stimulation, so be sure to keep the rhythm and deliver steady strokes. Experiment with varying speed and pressures, using her body’s reactions to guide you. If she starts breathing heavily, moans or seems to wiggle her body closer to you, you’re doing it right!

Know When to Pull Back

“Much like men, women also experience a slight refractory period directly after their first or second orgasm in which they need a few minutes to regroup,” says Morse. This doesn’t mean that you should back off entirely, but you should probably reduce the direct clitoral stimulation until she becomes less sensitive there. “While you’re waiting, explore new techniques for stimulating her through indirect touch, rubbing the area around the clitoris, massaging her thighs and her breasts as well. Prime her mind for more O’s by whispering in her ear with some sensual dirty talk. The goal is to keep her in a semi-aroused state, so make sure that you are still touching her and that she is still connected with her body throughout,” says Morse.

Feel The Vibe

“Just like any massage, it’s important to keep a little variety during clitoral stimulation so the area does not become overstimulated or numb. A sex toy can definitely come in handy here when you’re going for multiples, especially when mixed in with manual and oral play. Including a small clitoral vibrator like the We-Vibe Touch can help to mix up sensations, while still providing direct and steady stimulation. Have her use the toy on herself first to demonstrate the preferred pressure and motions, then work it into your repertoire,” says Morse. If you’ve been using a vibrator for the whole shebang, be sure to crank it down after she has her first orgasm and then slowly raise the levels again as you build up to number 2 and beyond. “You can also use the vibrator to lightly trace over her nipples, her pelvic mound and all over her body to find out what other areas respond to vibrations, until she’s ready to go again,” says Morse.

Patience

Patience not only a virtue, it'll also be her ticket to Multiple O Land (and your ticket to getting her there). “Believe it or not, the more you focus on the orgasm itself, the less likely it is to happen, so keep the pressure off the O’s and enjoy the act together. After all, it’s not just about the destination -- the journey is pretty damn enjoyable, too! Plus, you never know what other erogenous zones you might stumble upon along the way,” says Morse.

Pleasure A Woman In Multiple Ways

You're Going To Have A Climax-Filled Night Tonight - If You Read This

Develop a clitoral compass

When embarking on a journey of female sexual response, know your way around her vulva -- from the northern tippy-top of the clitoral glans (the “love-button,” so to speak), to the western and eastern boundaries of the labia minora (her inner lips) to the southernmost regions of the perineum (the smooth expanse of skin just below the vaginal entrance) and anus.

Stop thinking of the clitoris as a little bump, and start thinking of it as a complex network, a multiple orgasm-producing pleasure-dome, the Xanadu at the heart of female sexuality. With over 8,000 nerve fibers, the clitoris has more of them than any other part of the human body and interacts with the 15,000 nerve fibers that service the entire pelvic area. As science writer Natalie Angier describes the clitoral network, “Nerves are like wolves or birds: If one starts crying, there goes the neighborhood.”

Let your fingers do the walking, and don’t stop talking

That advice comes from one of my female patients, who told me that some of her best orgasms came while receiving manual stimulation from her boyfriend as he simultaneously stared into her eyes and talked dirty. I won’t put words in your mouth (you can use your imagination for that), but I will tell you to rest comfortably on your side, place your hand over her vulva, and press against her pubic mound with the base of your palm.

Let your fingers drape against the full expanse of her vulva like a thick curtain. Let her push against your palm, and use your index and middle fingers to make rhythmic upside-down "come hither" gestures along her vaginal entrance. Lightly stimulate her clitoral glans (the head) with your fingertips. For variety, reach in and up with two fingers and press them against her vaginal ceiling as though you were lifting her up off the bed, an ideal way to simultaneously stimulate her clitoris and G-spot.

The tongue is mightier than the sword…

Indeed, the tongue is a powerful tool, but not when used like a cobra lashing out at a mongoose. As one woman confessed, “Every time my boyfriend goes down on me, it’s like the running of the bulls in Spain -- a mad stampede for the clit and I just want to get out of the way.”

When it comes to conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man’s native tongue. Oral sex can be an excellent method for multiple orgasms. Even porn star Ron Jeremy, in possession of the famous 10-inch member, observed, “More women have gotten off with my tongue than with my penis.”

Once found, a skilled cunnilinguist rarely goes unappreciated. But if you’re not sure exactly how, just press a flat, still tongue against her vulva and let her do the work. It’s the cunnilingus equivalent of letting her get on top.

One of my favorite tongue techniques is the “Rope-a-dope”: Let her push and grind against your flat, still tongue -- take it all in -- and then spring back with a series of fast vertical and diagonal tongue strokes. Lick her senseless with a short burst of energy and then return to the flat, still tongue, waiting for yet another opportune moment to spring to life again.

Try licking her with the skill of an experienced painter: broad strokes, with pinpoint targeted precision. Swoop serpent-like, starting with the flat part of the tongue and ending with the tip. Be sure you know what you’re aiming for; demonstrate the precision that underlies the passion.

Learn how NOT to make love like a porn star

Irrespective of Jenna Jameson’s best-selling admonition, take the pressure off and think of your penis as just another tool in your sexual survival kit.

Ian Kerner breaks down the top techniques for giving her multiple orgasms...

Give Her Multiple Orgasms

You're Going To Have A Climax-Filled Night Tonight - If You Read This

Focus on shallow thrusts. In the standard missionary position (you on top, her beneath you), use the tip of your penis to barely penetrate her vaginal entrance. Let your penis rest just inside her. (If you’re uncomfortable in the missionary position, simply kneel or sit in front of her vulva). Linger. Loiter. Meander. Stay close to the entrance.

Press your thumb against her clitoral head and gently flick it from side to side as you penetrate her with your short, shallow thrusts. Or press the shaft of your penis against her clitoris and gently thrust between the folds of her labia without ever entering her. When you thrust deeply, press your pelvic bone against her clitoris and hold the position before withdrawing.

Get into the 90-second window

Before shifting from genital penetration to orgasm, use manual and oral stimulation to bring her as near as possible to the point of orgasmic inevitability.

Cunnilinguists are in a great position to observe the visible signs of arousal, especially when the lights are on. Of particular note will be the darkening in color and deepening in luster of her inner labia and the retraction of the clitoral head into its hood, both signs that she's within 90 seconds of reaching climax. Even in the dark, it's not hard to observe when the glans has retracted; focus on feeling the head when it's fully protruded and erect, and you'll easily be able to recognize its absence.
Once she’s in the 90-second window, try the female superior position (woman on top). An excellent method for multiple orgasms, this position is ideal for her to: Position her clitoris against your pubic bone at the base of your penis and achieve the ideal amount of pressure; stimulate her clitoris against your penis; control rhythm and pace; and modulate the experience of orgasm.

Or try the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). This sexual position is designed to greatly improve a woman's chance of orgasm through genital penetration and enhances the standard missionary position. During CAT, the man penetrates from a higher angle than usual, placing pressure on the woman's clitoris with the base of his penis and pubic bone. When performing CAT, the main thing to keep in mind is to maintain contact with the clitoris. The overall movement is much less a thrusting than a synchronized rocking back and forth, with the focus on the clitoris and the base of the penis.

OK, we’ve been touching on it, now let’s hit it directly

Fortunately, the G-spot, named after German doctor Ernest Grafenberg, is really more of an area than a single spot. Located atop the vaginal ceiling, with the diameter of a small coin, you can actually feel it swell during arousal. The G-spot responds to firmer stimulation than the clitoris, and though its stimulation will very likely enhance or deepen clitoral satisfaction, that won’t happen independently of the clitoris. Some of the latest research even suggests that the G-spot is nothing more than the back-end roots of the clitoris.

That brings us to the point that the most satisfying orgasms are the ones that combine clitoral and G-spot stimulation, also known as the blended orgasm. Focus on simultaneously stimulating the surface of her vulva and her upper-vaginal ceiling. Some time-proven combinations for producing blended orgasms that respectively stimulate her clitoris and G-spot include tongue-fingers, tongue-vibrator, and fingers-vibrator.

You might be thinking, with all of these various roads to orgasm, which is the one best traveled? All women have the innate capacity to experience multiple orgasms, and many realize this potential during masturbation. As Natalie Angier has written of the female orgasm, “It may take many minutes to reach the first summit, but once there, the lusty mountaineer finds wings awaiting her. She does not need to scramble back to the ground before scaling the next peak, but can glide like a raptor on currents of joy.”

Viva la vulva!

Tuesday, December 15, 2015